Your relationship’s greatest enemy is you.

Yes, we get involved with fucked up people who hurt us and have no tools to build shit. We put ourselves out there only to be crushed, betrayed, and rejected. But the more we blame and hate, the more we will stay stuck in what was. And like plaque, resentment builds and builds until it starts to decay our soul. Love becomes Santa Clause and we stop believing. Or more accurately, we become afraid. And there’s a difference between being cautious and making smart choices and being afraid. If we allow our fear to grow, we become our worst enemy. We are now fighting ourselves. We create a wall. We don’t allow love in. We dig a moat around our castle. Then we enter the next relationship with emotional stutter. We overthink. We evaluate. We judge. We create poison instead of soil. We love soft.

Fear creates insecurity.

Fear creates jealousy.

Fear creates distance.

Fear creates overthinking.

Fear creates a false version of you.

Fear creates emotional walls.

Fear prevents vulnerability.

Fear causes us to react.

Fear tugs at old unhealthy patterns.

Fear isolated us.

Fear keep us on eggshells.

Fear closes our heart.

So what do we do? Because we’ve all been hurt. Cheated on. Ghosted. We all have fears. The stove is hot for most of us. How do we become less afraid? How do we believe again? Trust again? How do we love hard when loving hard sent us down an emotional spiral and crushed us?

We must make a daily choice to forgive. To accept. To understand that relationships expire and every collision makes us grow, learn about ourselves, what we want and don’t want. Then we make a choice to love harder. Knowing there is risk. Possible heartbreak. We love until we feel stupid. Then push past that until we feel invincible. If not, we will become invisible. Because the way we love others is also the way we love ourselves. So if we become afraid to love others fully and deeply, we will not be able to love ourselves the same way.

Author of “I Used To Be A Miserable F*CK” and “Single. on Purpose.” IG: theangrytherapist

Author of “I Used To Be A Miserable F*CK” and “Single. on Purpose.” IG: theangrytherapist