There’s no such thing as a broken human — Here’s why

I always cringe when I hear this lyric from Coldplay,

“And I will try to fix you”.

It bothers the shit out of me for two reasons.

One, we don’t have that kind of power.

Two, people are not broken.

I have coached / given therapy to so many who believe are broken. They believe this because of their story and what they went through, the abuse, the upbringing, the chaos, the bullying, the addictions, the body dismorphia, the coping, the cutting, the pills, the depression, the rage, whatever life threw at them, including all their chaotic relationships.

Like bacon fat, thickly lined around the belief that you are broken is shame. And this is the damaging part. Shame, like a virus, eats at you until you start to feel invisible. Unworthy. You feel disgust with self. Not because of what you did (temporary). But because of who you are (permanent).

Shame whispers lies to your soul and teaches you to hide. So instead of running toward yourself and your potential, you run away. You disconnect with self rather than connect. This process sucks life out of you and you are no longer living. Now you are now just existing.

And of course your state ripples into behavior. So you become reactive and defensive, making people go through what you went through. Then you cope to numb and escape with food, sex, love, drugs, whatever your vice is, creating more shame and feelings of unworthiness.

This cycle creates a feeling of permanance and cements the belief that you’re broken. Which strips the most powerful thing that pulls people out of their healthy thinking and behavior, hope.

Yes, we can feel broken. As we can feel inadequate, unlovable, and uworthy at times. But there is a difference between a feeling and a belief. Feelings pass. Beliefs don’t, until we are able to see that the belief we pull from is false and give ourselves new experiences that shift our thinking. This usually requires a journey. For many, a rebirth.