I always cringe when I hear this lyric from Coldplay,
“And I will try to fix you”.
It bothers the shit out of me for two reasons.
One, we don’t have that kind of power.
Two, people are not broken.
I have coached / given therapy to so many who believe are broken. They believe this because of their story and what they went through, the abuse, the upbringing, the chaos, the bullying, the addictions, the body dismorphia, the coping, the cutting, the pills, the depression, the rage, whatever life threw at them, including all their chaotic relationships.
Like bacon fat, thickly lined around the belief that you are broken is shame. And this is the damaging part. Shame, like a virus, eats at you until you start to feel invisible. Unworthy. You feel disgust with self. Not because of what you did (temporary). But because of who you are (permanent).
Shame whispers lies to your soul and teaches you to hide. So instead of running toward yourself and your potential, you run away. You disconnect with self rather than connect. This process sucks life out of you and you are no longer living. Now you are now just existing.
And of course your state ripples into behavior. So you become reactive and defensive, making people go through what you went through. Then you cope to numb and escape with food, sex, love, drugs, whatever your vice is, creating more shame and feelings of unworthiness.
This cycle creates a feeling of permanance and cements the belief that you’re broken. Which strips the most powerful thing that pulls people out of their healthy thinking and behavior, hope.
Yes, we can feel broken. As we can feel inadequate, unlovable, and uworthy at times. But there is a difference between a feeling and a belief. Feelings pass. Beliefs don’t, until we are able to see that the belief we pull from is false and give ourselves new experiences that shift our thinking. This usually requires a journey. For many, a rebirth.
And this journey is what creates life — the connection back to ourselves.
Here’s the thing.
We are meant to break. We are meant to experience turbulance. Life is meant to shake us. Our hearts are meant to be shattered. All the things that have happened are the exercises that will make us grow, change our lenses, perspective, thinking, reposition us, and connect us to ourselves so that we can ultimately become vessals for something greater to work through us. So we can do what we’re meant to in this world.
Our story becomes the power behind our punch.
But only if we lean into, embrace it, and know that what happened, is happening, or will happen isn’t tied to our worth.
They are things outside of self that creates our path and gives
revelations → tools → direction → impact.
And this is why there is no broken human.
Your “brokeniness” caused by life and all the shit you went through, is what turns you into a diamond. What happened shapes you but only if you do not tie it to your worth but rather see it as the pieces you are meant to glue back together, in a way that will make your bowl unique and lined with gold. Instead of shame.
And worth more than before it was broken.
Turning your bowl (story) into art.
We are not broken.
We are becoming.
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