Who’s teaching boys to be men?
Men get their definitions by other men, specifically dad. But we live in a fatherless nation. This means dad is either absent physically or emotionally. So that space is filled with boys who also don’t have dads. Now we have confused boys raising confused boys and growing up with distorted definitions of what a man looks like. Throw in advertising, locker rooms, and today’s swipe culture and we have -
Boys defining themselves by muscle, corner offices, and learning about sex, love, and intimacy through pornography and swiping. Intimacy becomes skin deep and courting is something you do on your phone. He never learns to communicate or experience true connection. This rolls into his relationships. And of course, they fail because he doesn’t have tools so he never learns how to be in something healthy, creating a loop that prevents growth and learning. He has now created his own prison, forms beliefs about himself, women, and love. I’m not good enough. I’m not loveable. This leads to anger and unhealthy coping like sex addiction, which produces shame and destructive behavior that hurt others as well as himself. He becomes a predator. This leads to isolation, depression, more false beliefs which all fuel more reactions. Not responses. Women now become objects. Or more accurate, prey.
Who’s teaching the boys to be men?