What my 40 year old self would tell my 30 year old self

Start practicing how to be present now

Being present doesn’t just happen. It’s a muscle you have to exercise over and over again, which you will definitely need, so slow the fuck down, start noticing things, feel everything using all your senses, and breathe. There will be tons of apps to help you. But for now, when you’re lying in bed thinking of what you’ll be doing when you’re forty, bring your focus back to your breathe. It will be what resets you. I’ll tell you right now, you’re not going to be rich or famous.

Learn to receive

Im not talking about cash and gifts. You’re Korean. That comes naturally. I’m referring to accomplishments. You work super hard to accomplish things then when you do, you completely minimize them and see the glass as half shattered. Here’s the thing. If you keep doing this, you will never feel like you’ve done much with your life and happy, fulfilled, and successful will always be dangling carrots. Also, the people around you will see you as a giant turd.

Your heart will be broken many more times

I know you’re in therapy school studying relationships but that shit’s super complicated and a Masters degree won’t make you a master at them. So, know that your heart will be broken many times and you will know nothing about love. That being said, you’ll always be a lover not a fighter so keep loving hard. Just do it the best way you know how. I can’t tell you anything else because I still don’t have the answers.

There’s nothing to chase

Stop all the future tripping. If you focus on where you’ll be ten years from now, you’ll never have the now. It’s not a fair trade. Take the now and let go of the ten years. Because you’ll be fifty one day, look back and remember nothing. There’s a difference between building and chasing. One makes you powerfilled. The other, powerless.

Lose the glasses. You’re going to lose them anyway

I know your vision’s going and you want to look cool in glasses. But you’re never going to wear them no matter how many pairs you buy. Then one day, a homeless man will steal your last pair right out of your car. And you’ll stop wearing them so save some money and stop buying glasses now.

Appreciate your sleep

You’re going to wrestle with sleep in your forties, and by wrestle I mean you’ll get to a point where you’d gladly lose a finger to get eight hours again. My intention isn’t to scare you. It’s to get you to appreciate every hour of REM you get. As you get older, the little things that you take for granted will be big things you wish you had.

Be smarter with business

Passion alone doesn’t create great companies. Don’t be so reactive when it comes to business. Sit on things, run decisions by people. Be smarter. You tend to put the cart before the horse, which is good when you’re trying to get something done, but it’s not always good when it comes to business and decisions that can change your life. You will learn this the hard way. Always separate business from your emotions.

Don’t ever shave your head

Many dudes spend years growing their hair long then go extreme and shave their head. You will have the same tug. But I just want to remind you that the shape of your head hasn’t changed so you will still look like a monk. It won’t look any different than the time you did it after watching Brad Pitt in Mr. and Mrs. Smith. You’re still not Brad Pitt. Don’t do it.

Stop making it about you

There will come a point in time where you will start getting in the way of yourself. In business, relationships, coaching… and you will hit a very hard wall. You will start to doubt. You will feel trapped. Old records will play again. And the only way to break through this wall is to not make it about you.

No matter how hard life gets, and life getting hard will never stop, you have to believe that your path is greater than yourself, your thoughts, your feelings, how you believe your path should play out.

You are in service. You are a vessel. You are a catalyst, meant to set off greater things that you can not do alone. If you want to live a meaningful life, and help as many people as you can, it can’t be about you.

Keep leaning forward,

- Angry

Written by

Author of “I Used To Be A Miserable F*CK” . IG: theangrytherapist.

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