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What Is Trauma Bonding? + How To Break From It
You may have seen the term trauma bonding all over the internet. It’s become a popular term. Part of the box set of what I call “sticky” relationships. But the term is more obscure. Not like the popular hits like codependency, narcissism, emotional & physical abuse. Trauma bonding is like a B side.
It grabs attention because it sounds clinical, very serious, and makes you wonder if you have it or not. Besides, who doesn’t have some form of trauma? But many don’t know exactly what it actually is.
So I wanted to bring it down to street level.
In its simplest form, trauma bonding is “I love you. Get away.”
You are familiar with this I’m sure.
It’s a very powerful emotional bond created by the intermittent reinforcement of reward and punishment. This inconsistent love creates an emotional rubber band that pulls people in after they have been stretched. Or more accurately, shattered. The trauma generated by this inconsistent and confusing behavior creates a love bond. There is trauma bonding in all abusive relationships.
Quick aside. Trauma bonding is also called Stockholm syndrome — feelings of trust or affection felt in many cases of kidnapping or hostage-taking by a victim toward a captor.
