What Does It Mean / Look Like To Hold Space For Someone?

A crucial relationship / life coaching tool

You’ve heard this term before. This idea of holding space. Most likely from friends on their Eat Love Pray journey, doing therapy for the first time, having “huge” revelations, and bringing that kind of language into their everyday life. Like when Crossfitters were saying “crush” in every sentence a few years back. I was one of them. I’m going to crush this burger. You crushed that crossword puzzle. Man, I’m going to crush this nap. You get the point. Anyway, although you’re hearing this from everyone around you who finally believes in something better, it’s not just a bumper sticker or therapy lingo. It impacts your life more than you may know. Let me explain.

First, let’s talk about what it means. I’ll simplify it. Take it off the therapy couch and onto the street. Or maybe a bar. Since I try to put things into a shot glass. At the end of the day, it means to not make it about you. That’s it. Holding space means to make it about someone else. Plain and simple.

But most people can not do this. Why? Because we’re used to high jacking spaces. We’re wired to take. To want. To seek from others. We don’t want to accept someone’s opinions and worldviews if they don’t match ours. Especially if we care about them. So we try to…