“A father is a man who expects his son to be as good a man as he meant to be.”

Frank A. Clark

We live in a fatherless nation. Dad is either absent emotionally or physically. This directly impacts how we grow up. As boys become men, they don’t have a clear definition of what that looks like. As girls become women, they gravitate toward what’s familiar and fall into unhealthy relationships. It’s important that men today have clear definitions on who they want to be. It’s time to break the pattern so that we can become better fathers.

Here is my defintion of the new man.

The New Man

The new man is interested in redefining what a man looks like. The new man sees strength in vulnerability. He is kind not nice. He lifts weights. He rides motorcycles. But he also writes cards and puts thought into his gifts. He is not afraid to say no. The new man is unconventional. He seeks purpose and adventure. He works hard but is not defined by his work. He dreams big. He is humble. The new man is loyal, protective, and fair. The new man communicates. He does not leave people in the dark. Words over fists. He pulls from his heart instead of ego. He takes long baths. He reads. The new man takes care of his health and body. He plans things. He is mindful, practices gratitude, and never assassinates people’s character. The new man loves hard. Cares about being a good dad. Controls his alcohol. Believes in things greater than himself. The new man is self aware. He responds not reacts. The new man does what he says he’s going to do. He doesn’t complain or make excuses. He takes ownership of his actions. The new man doesn’t put people on pedestals. He is slow to anger. He opens doors, pull out chairs, and looks you in the eyes. He forgives. He let’s go. He does his best to be present. The new man knows how to create a safe space. He can own a room. He is a leader. He is selfless in the bedroom. He leans into his fears. He doesn’t second guess himself. The new man stands on his truth. Doesn’t use too much cologne. Feels confident in just a tee shirt. He cooks. He is a team player. He holds on to his non-negotiables. He has opinions. Fire in his belly. Believes he has value. The new man does not live in the past. He is optimistic. Cares how you feel. Calls when he says he’s going to call. Comes home when he says he’s going to come home. He is open minded. He talks about his feelings. Allows himself to cry. The new man is respectful, considerate, and polite. He is not afraid to roll up his sleeves and get dirty. He says what’s on his mind. He makes decisions, learns from his mistakes, and is always growing. The new man is curious. He does not hold grudges. He always tries to be the bigger person. The new man positions himself as a student of life and trusts his story.

“Closing down in the midst of pain is a denial of a man’s true nature. A superior man is free in feeling and action, even amidst great pain and hurt. If necessary, a man should live with a hurting heart rather than a closed one. He should learn to stay in the wound of pain and act with spontaneous skill and love even from that place.”

― David Deida

Author of “I Used To Be A Miserable F*CK” and “Single. on Purpose.” IG: theangrytherapist

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