It hit me last night while sipping a cappuccino at Intelligentsia after stuffing my face with Cuban food. The thought of sweet plantains always draws me in. They’re like healthy donuts. Not really but that’s what I tell myself. Speaking of telling myself things, that’s where it all begins. Pre conflicted decisions. Post regret and hopefully revelations. And my revelation as I unbuttoned the top button of my jeans was this: If your intentions aren’t right, if they’re not lined up with your truth, you’re just throwing boomerangs. That shit’s gonna come right back.
If you have to tell yourself something, it’s usually because you are conflicted and you’re trying to convince yourself. If you’re convincing yourself, logic has now taken the wheel. And logic is not a bad driver but can easily take you down a very different path. If something feels right, it doesn’t need much convincing. Yes, there may be fear and a shit ton of questions but feelings always override logic.
I went against my gut on a few decisions this year and it didn’t work out as planned. I would like to think that everything happens for a reason but I only think that applies when you are making choices that are honest to you. Logically my choices made sense but they weren’t honest to me. I felt the tug in my heart because my intentions were wrong. But I managed to convince myself they weren’t. I sprinted right pass my soul throwing foul flags and had no idea I was running toward the wrong end zone. I was too concerned about scoring a touchdown. If I look back on other decisions I’ve made in my life where they also didn’t feel right but were logical, the outcomes were the same. Then I think about other choices I’ve made where they felt right and my intentions were in the right place, and maybe weren’t so logical, and from those seeds came beautiful fruit.
My point is if you make decisions based on what you think you know even though it goes against your truth, you’ll always be taking the long way home.
Your intentions are your core power source, like the light in Iron Man’s chest. Without it, you are a puppet. With it, you can be a hero. Your intentions which are tied to your heart, soul, the fiber of your being, lives in the subconscious and is coming out, manifesting into reality. By ignoring them and pulling from logic only, which is a construct of society and other factors that are not you, you are cock blocking your destiny.
What decisions are you making that don’t feel right? Do your intentions line up with your truth? Where do you pull from?