The picket fence has splinters

Okay I’m not saying don’t get married and have kids. I want to get married again and possibly have kids too. I want a house and a porch swing and all that too. I’m just saying we as a society have painted a glossy Normal Rockwell painting that we hold high and strive to live in. This creates ticking clocks, insecurities, but more importantly sets us up for disappointment and internalization when that painting doesn’t match reality and we think there’s something wrong with us or our marriage. The truth is marriage is fucking hard so are raising kids. This perfect picture we created and are supposed to strive for is disrespectful to people who are busting their balls to build something. I’ve been there. And it’s easy to internal and be hard on yourself. I’m not saying it’s not worth it. Marriage is beautiful and I personally don’t think you can hit the high notes of love without sharing vows. But let’s shatter the veneer and create a realistic picture. Let’s let married people know it’s not a painting. It’s dirty socks on the floor and scheduled sex and heated fights and sleepless nights. And that that’s okay and it doesn’t mean their marriage or parenting is bad or in trouble. It’s just fucking life. Because there is also the knowing glance that sends good chills down your bones and holding a person you created or adopted that you love without condition that doesn’t compare to any other feeling in the world. All I’m saying is it’s okay if you’re married and struggling. It may not be that you or your marriage is bad but that you bought into an expectation that was never real.

Author of “I Used To Be A Miserable F*CK” and “Single. on Purpose.” IG: theangrytherapist

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