Stop making it about you

The Angry Therapist
6 min readDec 11, 2017

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I believe many are depressed because they live a self-centered life. By self-centered, I mean doing life in your head, only seeing the world through your own lenses, and tying everything back to your worth. When you live a life centered in self, you are closed, your thoughts are turned inward, and you are listening to a constant inner dialogue of judgment and criticism. You compare yourself to others and blueprints you, parents, society has created for you years ago. I’m not good enough, pretty enough, strong enough. I could have done better. I don’t deserve ________. When you make it about you, your world becomes very small.

Unless you come from a perfect family and have had nothing but flawless relationships, which is impossible, your head will play this broken record of judgment and criticism. Of course the volume of the record varies, depending on your story. But we all have this playing inside us. It is quicksand. It starts with a raw emotion, anger, hopelessness, loneliness, despair, sadness, and anxiety. We sink deeper as our raw emotion turns into an emotion driven thought — the broken record. This is how we get negative self-talk loops stuck in our heads. You say something enough and you will start to believe it. Whenever the pseudo self drives the mind into patterns of thought that is contrary to the solid self, these thoughts can turn into trouble. The tracks of our broken records turn into false beliefs. They start to define who we are and limit our potential. For example, here are some false beliefs. The world would be better off without me. I’d be better off drinking again. No one loves me. I am worthless. I don’t deserve any better than this anyway. I can’t. I can’t. I can’t. These false beliefs create fear and uncertainty. They keep us locked in our heads on a planet very far from joy and happiness.

The way you break this record is to get out of your mind (self). Accept your feelings but not the judgmental thoughts behind them. Allow yourself to feel whatever feeling that is truthful then let it go because it’s temporary. It’s not attached to you. Many hold on to them because feelings are powerful and convincing but like I mentioned above, that negative emotion can quickly turn into a track on repeat which then can turn into a false belief. Feelings don’t define your worth. Unless you allow them to. And so many do without even knowing it…

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The Angry Therapist

Author of “I Used To Be A Miserable F*CK” and “Single. on Purpose.” IG: theangrytherapist