Something I’ve Never Blogged About
On my wedding day, the person who married us told me it wouldn’t last. Not directly. That would be cruel. The message was etched in her face, her carefully chosen words, and in her energy. I remember it clearly. We don’t forget how we feel. I felt it. She also said I would go on to help people. But I wasn’t a therapist at the time so I assumed she meant move people through films. I was a screenwriter. Anyway, she was known to have the gift of premonition.
She was right.
It was only one of two super natural, if you want to call it that, events in my life. The first was when I was fourteen and felt the presence of God as I was perched on a rock alone in the woods. No thundering voice or anything. It was very subtle. I just remember the strange but comforting feeling of not being alone in this world. Although I was lost, literally, I felt complete peace, like home.
And of course you have heard or witnessed many stories like this. I have a friend who swears he and his parents came home one night to the unmistakable smell of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. Their oven was off. No one made cookies. But his recently deceased grandmother was known for her famous cookies. I have friends who have seen spirits. Felt things. Seen things. We all know people who have awakened in the middle of the night with the feeling that someone they love just passed. And it turns out to be true. Strange feelings. Knowings. The unexplained.
There are greater things. There are things we can’t see. Or explain. There is more than one plane here. Maybe our stories are already written. Maybe we’ve lived many times. Maybe the powerful connection you have with someone has nothing to do with this life. Maybe God cares.
I don’t know. But I know what I felt and what I’ve been feeling these days. The more time I spend on this planet, the more I believe how small we are. How much we don’t know. Also, it’s easier to accept pain, heartbreak, and life turbulance if you believe there is a reason. Because behind reason, there is meaning. And with meaning in your hands, it’s so much easier to let go. Which I believe is one of the greatest tools one can have and a key to living a meaningful life.
If you read me, you know that I’ve been thirsty to get on a spiritual path for a few years now. It feels tacky announcing that but I’m a blogger and I share my story for a living. It’s something that’s been naturally brewing, like a planted seed that’s finally given the right soil. Maybe it comes with grey hair and new prescription glasses. Or maybe I’m sick and tired of my left brain. Maybe shiny things don’t interest me as much anymore and I’m curious about things I can not see. Maybe I’m evolving.
It really doesn’t matter. What I really want to share with you are the results, the by product of living this way, what is produced when one believes in the greater, sees the world through different eyes. Actually, not eyes at all. But through feelings, intuition, gut, spirit, serendipity, moments, and what calls to you.
Here are my findings. Yes, I said findings.
First, I want to say that my spiritual practice may look very different than others. I haven’t gone to church in nearly a decade. I rarely do sit down meditations. I don’t pray daily. I have’t done ayahuasca or gone on any silent retreats. I meet God on my motorcycle. I practice thinking less and connecting more, to my body, my state, my energy, and being aware of the feelings as a whole complete being, not just a brain with legs. I do constant check ins with my truth through out the day. Am I making decisions that feel dishonest to who I am / who I want to be? I practice spiritual curiousity. I wonder often. I pull back and try to see things from a story based perspective instead of my distorted thinking. I listen to the universe by the events that unfold and the people who come in and out of my life. I seek truth in moments. I am becoming a servant to serendipity.
That is my current spiritual practice and I’ve notice two things:
1. I have less anxiety.
As you know, the way you choose to see the world changes your lived experience. For example, if you choose to see the world as a victim, you will always be in a powerless state and live inside your own prison walls. If you choose to see the world through a spiritual lens, it pulls you out of self. Gives you a helicopter’s point of view. Pulls you out of your daily trenches. It’s usually in these trenches that we drown. We must be able to see a bigger picture or it’s tough to feel hope. The daily action tied to believing in things greater than yourself is what letting go looks like. And when you let go of things, you have less anxiety. Your ego shrinks. You start to accept your story. All of this creates less anxiety. You start to trust your path. And when you trust your story, it’s eaiser to drop all your shoulds. (Most of them probably aren’t even honest to you anymore. You’ve just been holding on to them because you haven’t re-evaulated your life and what you really want.)
2. I’m less of an asshole.
If you shift your thinking and start to believe in greater things happening around you, you will start to care less about little things like why someone doesn’t like you. Or that lady who’s holding up the line at the grocery store. Why your almond milk latte wasn’t extra hot like you ordered. Things like traffic and flakey people are inside a snow globe. You notice them but they don’t consume you. You start to take things less personally. Again, you are able to let go more. But most importantly, with spirit comes connection. You start to understand that we are all connected and in this together. With that understanding there is more room for forgiveness and empathy. You get curious about people instead of judging them. You start living more a heart centered life. And I believe that is truly where our super power lives. It’s not our brain. Our brain is a tool that gets shits done. But our heart is what radiates us into a conscious being and gives us life.
3. It repositions me toward my true north.
When you’re able to let go, you’re able to be moved. I believe we become stuck in our lives because we hold to our own wants so tightly that we don’t allow the universe to move us, reposition us. When you focus less on your personal wants and more on how you can be in a state where you can be a conduit, a catalyst, a messenger, a path will always appear. People will come into your life who are meant to help you, teach you, challenge you, sharpen you. Doors will open that you may not have seen. And all this creates a bee line to where you’re supposed to go. As long as you focus on spirit and breath and pay attention to the unfolding, leaning into your fears and resistance and know there are lessons sprinkled through out, you will naturally go where you’re meant to go and become who you’re meant to become. Life is no longer a maze. It becomes a river. And you’re swimming in the right direction.
I see the world differently today. It’s a subtle shift but powerful. Because it has say in my decisions. It’s not just a new way of thinking, it’s a new way of living. Instead of living in my head and pulling from logic, I now feel my way through, look for signs, notice the stiring, connect dots people may think are coincidences. This process makes me connect to myself and feel whole, complete instead of in parts. Because as we grow up and life happens, we disconnect with ourselves. Living a spirit filled life reconnects you, gives you a rebirth. And there is so much power in that. It also makes you less afraid because it’s not about you anymore.
Granted, it can also be confusing as fuck because I’m not used to listening to my soul. Logic is all I’ve ever listened to.
Living a spirit filled life has give me more peace with -
Where I’m at in my life.
Who I am.
Where I’m going.
Accepting my story.
I don’t know what’s happening to me or where I’ll end up. Maybe in a room with padded walls. I don’t know. But I can’t turn back now. If I do, my story won’t make sense. I would just be a failed screenwriter and what I felt the day I got married was in my head.
At the end of the day, it’s a choice right? Everything is a choice, including our beliefs and the way we decide to see the world. You can choose to see the world as flat and that perspective will give you a certain life experience. You can choose to see people as bad and out to get you, and that perspective will give you certain life experiences.
I choose to see life this way.
It makes my world wide and possibilities endless.
CALL TO ACTION
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