There are 3 F’s you need if you want to change your life. They are crucial. Without them, change will only be the rattling shit in your pocket.
1. Fuck you.
People think change starts with an honest conversation. It doesn’t. It starts with an honest confrontation. You need to say fuck you to the part of you that doesn’t believe you can change. To the part of you that doesn’t believe you deserve better, different, or more. To the part of you that keeps holding on to the past like it’s all you’ll ever have. The “fuck you” isn’t to be dramatic. It’s you drawing a line with Sharpie instead of chalk. Because there has to be a before in order for there to be an after and it has to be clear cut. There needs to be a fold. The old and the new. And yes, you need to announce it. Say it out loud. Write it down. What ever works for you but it must be done. Fuck you.
Without slack, you will never be able to swim. Freedom creates organic momentum. Where in your life do you feel trapped? In what part of your life do you feel like a prisoner? For most, it’s in their work and relationships. Let me give you an example. I know that I can not have a 9 to 5. I’ve tried. I choke on my tie. The cubicle life grays me out. It’s a slow death. I get nothing done. I become a zombie. My state changes. Once I quit my day job and focused on The Angry Therapist, yeah it was scary but my state started to change. And when your state changes, your productivity changes. You life engine kicks in and that’s when thriving happens. If you don’t feel free, you will feel trapped. In anything. You have free yourself in order for change to happen.
Most people live with pilot lights. They have passions and ideas but it’s in the background. It’s on just enough to stay lit. If you want change, that pilot light needs to be turned way up so you can actually feel the heat. Fire is fuel. Without it, there will be no movement. Your fire needs to change the temperature of the room. So how do you do that? Well, first ask yourself where your flames are. What lights you up? Now what are you doing daily to fan those flames? I wish there was a knob we could just turn. But unfortunately, you will need to grow fire the old fashioned way, energy. How much energy are you putting into lighting your torch? The more energy you put into it, the hotter your fire will get. If you just think about it all day but don’t do anything (action), your fire will not spread. It will be just be a burning a candle.