My Mid Year Revelations of 2018

A fuck ton of learning

What living in the past really means

I used to think living in the past meant you’re constantly thinking about old shit. Past relationships that still aren’t closed. Events that still have a hold on you. Feelings of anger and resentment toward people who have hurt you or “done you wrong”, tightly locked in your heart, thoughts, and body. Which you constantly obsess about. Yes, this is definately living in the past.

I struggle with some of this but not enough for it to dramatically impact my life. I’ve accepted and dissolved and done tons of therapy and no longer walk with stones in my shoe. But I’ve learned this year that there’s another version of living in the past that doesn’t have to do with exes and trauma.

Out of our sixty thousand daily thoughts, they say ninety percent of them are the same ones we had yesterday. And ninety percent of tomorrow’s thoughts will be the ones we have today. So we live in a loop a la the movie Groundhog’s Day. This means we’re living in the past.

I now make an conscious effort to be aware of the thoughts that are on replay and to think new ones. Easer said than done. We are habital creatures and this includes our thinking. It takes practice. A daily effort. Some days I win. Some days I lose…