My Fucking Feelings 7/28/16

What a day. Draining. Productive. But holding a golden bar of gratitude. With two hands. Love my fucking job. All the people I work with. Rock stars. We’re building cool shit and creating beautiful collisions. Learning so much. Today I got to take Justin into rehab and I’ve been there before. Literally. With another client who relapsed and caused me to question what I do and if I’m even effective. I don’t know how much of this is about me. Probably a lot. But he has a roof over his head tonight and that gives my heart a shit eating grin. And I don’t know how long he will stay because addiction is a monster that always creep up from behind, but I must let go and be grateful to have collided with this young man, reminding myself that we will only be one point in someone’s life and it is not our job to focus on how long but only how bright.

Got a breathing / mediation / yoga coach. Finally making an effort to learn how to breath and sit the fuck still. Because I’m learning that silence is necessary.

I feel like I am shedding again. Another layer so that I can live closer to my truth. Getting wind burns from the new skin but it’s making me feel alive — the word Justin typed on my vintage typewriter — which makes me pull back and see through new lenses that show you that life is never about what you think it is. Maybe our collision was to help me, not him. Learning to read life subtext is one of the keys. I’m sure of it. That and allowing yourself to dream big but let go of wants, which is a very tricky thing to do. I haven’t mastered it yet and don’t know if I ever will. But if you can walk that line, you have more power than most of us.

I do want less today but I believe in more, if that makes sense and that shift has given me fresh air, hope, and more confidence than I ever knew.

I tell my clients I don’t except “good” and “fine” when I ask them how they’re doing. But today, I feel good.

Author of “I Used To Be A Miserable F*CK” and “Single. on Purpose.” IG: theangrytherapist

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store