My Fucking Feelings

I’m not as vulnerable as a blogger as I thought I was, 90’s hair, and a new podcast that terrifies the shit out of me

11.13.20. 4:30am.

I just clentched my nose circulation-stopping tight to prevent a sneeze that would have surely woke up Vanessa, if the punching of these keys hasn’t already. She can hear a mouse thinking. Her hearing is so good it’s almost a handicap. I never want to hear that well. The world is too noisy. I need to be able to close some doors. Anyway, I may be stretching here but I think it’s proof that I have grown. I sacrificed something that feels amazing for someone else. I know it’s just a sneeze. But my sneezes measure on the Richter and feel like orgasms. I think people who take away your sneezes should be fined. Or shot. In the face. Like adults who tickle children that don’t want to be tickled. Or don’t stop when they should because they think it’s cute, without knowing they are taking the child’s voice away. I’ve had many steal my sneezes over the span of my life and it enrages me. How do you steal someone’s sneeze? You scare them right when they’re about to sneeze. Or you grab their nose and squeeze it, just like I just to myself. I never used to be like this. Selfless. Or considerate may be more accurate.