There’s a point beyond emotions that paralyzes your heart like eerie calm beyond the waves. Shootings have become background in the world we live in due to the amount of them these days.

This one was in San Bernardino. A heavily armed man and woman dressed for battle opened fired on a holiday banquet for his co-workers, killing 14 people and seriously wounding more than a dozen.

So what’s the answer? I don’t know. I don’t think there is one single blanket answer. But I don’t think the focus is on bureaucracy. I think we have to zone in on what we have control over. Bring it back to us, cultivate our own garden. I think everything starts at home. I think children growing up in toxic and traumatic environments sets them up to live in containers that aren’t safe which doesn’t give them tools to cope as adults.

That being said, no one enters adulthood unscarred. So we do the best we can with where we’re at or what we have. And doing the best we can is a choice. Everything starts there. Then with that choice, being gentle with ourselves, because harshness turned inward always ricochets out. So entering the tunnel of self forgiveness when we hurt others or don’t react the way we want to, is crucial for balance and growth.

How we raise our families. How we treat others. How we process. How we respond. How flexible we are to shifting our perspectives. Compassion. Vulnerability. Our ability to let go, draw boundaries. Our genuine desire to look in the mirror.

I think the answers are within us.

Not them.

Because we become them.

No one is born with guns.

- Angry

Author of “I Used To Be A Miserable F*CK” and “Single. on Purpose.” IG: theangrytherapist

Author of “I Used To Be A Miserable F*CK” and “Single. on Purpose.” IG: theangrytherapist