If You’re Doing These Things, You’re Crippling Your Relationship

4 common pitfalls we fall into

After the initial spark. The curiosity of wanting to know everything about this new person. After exploring his new body, mind, and perspectives on life and the world. What he likes to eat. What his dreams are. How he was as a kid. After the magic dust of what this could be settles and what is emerges. When fantasy fades, reality kicks in, and the recess bell rings, that’s when the actual building of a relationship begins.

When the real work starts.

Yes, love starts when the shit comes up. Your past. His wiring. Fears. Family dynamics. Old tugs. Attachment styles. Love languages. The contrast of two people deciding to truly show themselves and realizing that love is a choice. Not a feeling. Everything before that was infatuation. The dopamine of discovering someone new.

And if you both do not start the process of looking inward and working through the shit aka doing “the work”, you run the risk of snapping back to who you used to be. And of course, the relationship falling apart. And instead of creating a new love experience, which always exists beyond your reactions and pulling from what was, you cement patterns, stunt growth, and wonder why you never find love.

The excitement of…