How to know what your super power is

During dinner last night, we were asked what our super power was. I know that’s not a normal dinner question but it wasn’t a normal dinner. I’m not allowed to talk about it. That’s the first rule.

Anyway, I said some bullshit about being a Trojan horse, entering high walls by coming in as the average John, speaking everyman language, then dropping my little shot of selp help. I mean, it’s not bullshit bullshit. I did mean it. But it was something that just came off the top of head. I didn’t put a lot of thought into it.

Then this morning, as I was scrapping sweet potato skin off the oven tray, I realized what my true super power was.

Quick story.

You’ll see how it pays off in a bit.

When I was a kid, I used to build models, like many boys. I remember one day, getting the Dukes of Hazard car. I loved cars. Still do. And I loved models. Still do. (Joke). Play on words. Nevermind. I’m a guy, kill me. Okay, so I spent all day building the damn thing, placing the decals perfectly, painting the interior. Then I got to the axles and I couldn’t figure how to put it together so I just glued the wheels to the wheelwell. So the car looked like it had switches (lowered) and didn’t roll.

That was pretty much how I did everything.

And people made fun of me, told me I was a half ass. I never had the patience to do things “right”. I tried. Many times. But I just kept fucking things up. Model planes. School exams. My bed. I internalized this and thought it was a fault of mine. A character flaw. I believe my brother used the word “idiot”.

The heading photo above is turned sideways because it was too long vertically and I didn’t want to look for a new one. NOT because I’m lazy. It’s because it made sense to me to just turn it sideways. It’s my way of doing things and it’s honest to me. It probably bothers the shit out of many people, especially if you’re a perfectoinist or stuggle with control, but a sideways picture makes sense for this article. Or at least in my opinion.

Then I grew up, and of course it carried through. When I was married, I didn’t clean thorougly. I started projects I never finished. I was what some may call, unpolished.

This is how I put towels away.

Exaggerating but you get my point.

But it was because of this “character flaw”, that I started a blog called The Angry Therapist, half assed, without thinking. Just posted whatever the fuck I felt. → It turned into a full online practice. Because of this character flaw, I created a life coaching course and sold tickets to it before I even knew what I was going to teach. → This turned into my start up called SHFT. Anyway, I always put the cart before the horse and pull triggers very fast, before fear or self doubt kicks in. It’s how I landed a book agent and sold my new book. Now of course, some things don’t work out but some do and because of my “defect”, I no longer punch a clock. But most importantly, I have connected thousands of people seeking help with coaches who can help them and my team and I are changing the way we change. My “flaw” lead me to my purpose.

My point is this. I believe our superpower is tied to our story. Yes, there are talents and gifts you have. You may be naturally gifted at running the ball through a wall of burly men or have the ability to paint someone’s face like it was a photograph, with your left foot. But I think your superpower isn’t neccesarily your gifts. I think they are what you believed made you broken or less than as a kid.

And I think it’s the combination of your natural talent — honed of course + your superpower that will launch you into the stratosphere.

But isn’t that how all the super hero stories are? What they thought was a curse turns out to be their gift? It’s why people who have gone through trauma have the most capacity to be empathic — a super power. It makes a great story, and there’s nothing more valuable than our story.

So ask yourself, what is it that you thought was a “flaw” when you were younger? What made you “defective?” What about you made you different than the others and everyone, including yourself, thought it was a bad thing. In what way can that now be a super power?

But in order for your power to work, for that shit to be legit, you have to own it. You have to embrace your imperfection, take the core of it as if it was child and nurse it until it becomes a full grown man. Or woman. A confident one who doesn’t give a flying eff because she had accepted herself. Because she now stands on her truth. Because she has swam too far to turn back.

And in that process, if you really do the work, you will finally own your story, which really means accepting and reconnecting with all parts of yourself = your higher potential.

And that my friends, is when you lose the glasses and are given a cape.

  • Angry

Author of “I Used To Be A Miserable F*CK” and “Single. on Purpose.” IG: theangrytherapist

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