How to Set Your Goals For 2019!

Don’t let this year be like all the others

The Angry Therapist
7 min readDec 27, 2018

--

It’s that time when we get all excited about new possibilities and everything we want to change about ourselves and our lives. This is wonderful. Keep this feeling. Hold it. Bottle it up. It’s fuel. But feelings alone don’t accomplish goals. You know that from all the other years.

You need structure and a system. Enthusiasm alone is flipped sand in hourglass. There is a ticking clock before fear and doubt kick in and you don’t set yourself up for new experiences that shift your thinking and change your beliefs.

Below is a map to follow. I have broken it down into steps.

But first let’s pull back and start with your 30,000 foot view. It’s important to have a North Star. This is your three year vision. Not your five year plan. Five is too far, especially today when things can change so fast.

The 30,000 foot view exercise.

Go sit on the couch or lie downs. Take a deep breath. And as you exhale allow, all your logic and doubt and what you think is possible to leave your mind and body. Take another deep breath and as you exhale allow everything that has happened, all the things that didn’t work to exit your mind and body. Do this a few times.

Now, imagine your life in three years. No, you didn’t win the lottery. But you did not allow fear and doubt to stop you this time. You actually finished something. Built something. You have accomplished goals you set out to. A steady evolution has been happening in your life, both internally and externally. Of course sprinkled with some miracles. And this vision is the manifestation of that.

Slowly see the vision come into focus. What are you doing? Where do you live? Are you in the hills? On the beach? In the mountains? Maybe you have two homes? Who are you choosing to love? What does that look and feel like? Don’t just imagine it, feel it in your body. Who are you friends? How do they make you feel? Again, don’t just see it. Feel it. Feel you walking around the home that you see yourself in. Feel yourself in your work. Maybe you finally finished that book you’ve always wanted to write. Started that company? Executed that idea? What does it feel like to have finally accomplished the things you want for yourself?

Now write it down. Keep it in your phone. Sit with it often. Before you go to bed. When you wake up. Let it soak into your subconscious. Leave it in your back pocket. You will take it out often this year, using it as your north star.

Now let’s talk about how goals are accomplished. Here’s the super simple breakdown.

Vision ← Goals ← Strategy / System ← Habits / Rituals.

Everything starts with a vision. Then you set macro and micro goals that create that vision. Your goals should be S.M.A.R.T. which I will get into in a second. Then you need some kind of strategy, system, a program, that you run through your daily habits and rituals to execute your goals. It’s your daily habits and rituals (building blocks) that will be the engine moving you forward toward your vision.

Now let’s talk about your goals.

Break it down into categories. Even though you have a 3-year vision, these goals are just for 2019.

Wealth / Work.

What are your goals for your work and career? What do you want to accomplish this year? Or maybe you want to get that side hustle off the ground while working your 9 to 5 for one more year? Build another revenue stream? Pursue your passion? Break your old record in sales? Or maybe your goal is to explore what you really want to do?

Health / Fitness.

What are your goals with your health and fitness, your diet, nutrition? What are your goals in connecting to your body more? Do you want to lose weight? Get stronger? Have a nicer butt? Run a marathon? Don’t judge your goals right now. As we tighten the vice and go through the process, you may lose or rethink some of your goals.

Social / Friendships.

What kind of friends do you want to invest in this year? Do you want more friends? Less friends? Do you want to change the dynamic of your friendships? Are some friends sucking your energy? Are some friendships lopsided and toxic? Are you outgrowing some of your friends? What do you want your social life to look and feel like?

Love / Relationships.

What are your goals for your relationship? Or if you’re not in one, what goals do you have for yourself so that you bring more to the table when you find someone who deserves you? What new love experiences do you want to give yourself? How do you want to change your thinking? What do you need to process to remove residue from previous relationships? How do you want to love?

Self Enrichment.

How do you want to improve yourself this year? Do you want to go on more retreats? Read more books? Workshops? Seminars? What are your self-betterment goals? Mental. Emotional. Spiritual. Is there anything you need to process or resolve so it doesn’t hold you back from being a better version of yourself so that you can accomplish your goals?

Now put all your goals through a S.M.A.R.T. strainer.

(S) specific, (M) measurable, (A) attainable, (R) relevant, and (T) time sensitive.

The more specific, measurable, attainable, relevant — lining up with your 30,000 foot view, and time sensitive your goals are, the better chance you will have at accomplishing them.

If your goals are vague, unmeasurable, not realistic or relevant to your story with no ticking clock, you have nothing to work with. You have nothing to build on.

Make your goals as S.M.A.R.T. as possible.

Now let’s talk about your strategy/system. This is the program you need to accomplish your goals.

For example, if your goal is to improve your back squat by 70 pounds this year, which is a very specific goal, your strategy would be the strength program you need to get stronger. Then you would execute the program at a gym. Either by yourself, with a trainer, or in a class. Your strategy may also include a nutrition/diet program.

Now you run your strategy/system into your daily habits and rituals.

This means how are you incorporating your system into your everyday life?

Using the squat goal example above, what time are you going to train? Before work? After work? What does training look like? By yourself? With a trainer? In a class? What about your nutrition/diet? What does that look like?

It is imperative to know how your strategy will be threaded into your life. If you don’t know, you won’t be able to build anything. Instead, your goals will just be distance wishes.

Break down your day and insert your ritual until it becomes a daily habit. It doesn’t matter if it’s thirty minutes a day or two hours. What’s important is it’s threaded into your life. This is the scheduling piece. It’s imperative. You won’t accomplish your goals if you just do work on them when you feel like it. No one achieves anything that way.

Say you want to write a book. Imagine if you wrote only when you felt like it. If I did that, I wouldn’t have finished this article. You would have to put time aside every day to write. It has to be a part of your daily routine, threaded into your life. Like meals, exercise, and sleep. That ritual / daily habit of writing will create sentences that turn into paragraphs and turn into chapters, which will eventually turn into a book.

Turn your goals into a lifestyle. That’s how you set yourself up for success. There’s no other way. Your goals shouldn’t be separate from your life. They should be integrated. I’m not saying to lose your life. I’m saying your goals are a part of your life. Most people see their goals separate from their life and the goals become short lived.

Now let's talk about your why.

Without a strong why, your grip on your goals will loosen. They will take a back seat and eventually fade.

Two questions to ask yourself.

Why is this goal important to you and your story? And does it line up with your 30,000 foot view or three year plan?

Your whys will always be our strongest driving force in accomplishing your goals. And the more your why is greater than you, the more traction and drive you will have in accomplishing your goals.

Example.

I want to be rich. Why? So I can buy a collection of exotic cars.

I want to be rich. Why? So I can have financial security and not have to worry about money anymore.

I want to be rich. Why? So I can help the people I love execute their dreams as well as execute my own purpose/passion through my ideas and gifts. So I can make the greatest dent I can before I die.

Which gives you the most internal drive? When you make things greater than you, you have less fear. Because fear is the greatest when it’s about you.

The final pieces in goal setting is the most Important. This is processing the mental and emotional barriers that get in the way of your goals.

  • Faulty thinking
  • Limited beliefs
  • Previous experiences
  • Subconscious fears

These need to be processed but the thing is you can’t process by yourself.

You can set up your goals perfectly, thread them into your life by creating daily rituals that turn into habits, and have strong whys that are greater than you. But eventually, you will hit walls. There will be turbulence and self-doubt and all the same reasons why you couldn’t accomplish these goals last time. Faulty thinking. Limited beliefs. Precious experiences. Subconscious fears.

If you want help dissolving them,

JOIN MY LIVE ONLINE GOAL SETTING WORKSHOP.

Jan 5th & 6th, 11am — 1pm PST.

This will be a super intimate workshop. Causal over clinical. Seats are very limited. I will only be taking a handful.

We’ll plan out your goals as well as process your barriers. The value of the workshop will be in the live processing.

Hope to see you inside.

  • Angry

GET MY DAILY TEXTS

Check out my podcast.

If you want to be a life coach, check out our Catalyst Life Coaching Intensive.

--

--

The Angry Therapist

Author of “I Used To Be A Miserable F*CK” and “Single. on Purpose.” IG: theangrytherapist