How To Life Coach Yourself

Okay so John, you’ve been feeling disconnected a bit due to your thoughts and thinking. Is there an event or something that happened in your life that’s causing this anxiety or noise?

What connects you to you? Before you answer this, I want you to pull way back for a second. Don’t tell me motorcycle rides or fitness. What’s the big major life thing that connects you to yourself? It’s usually what really matters to you the most in your life.

Okay so the next question is how are you living a through-me life these days?

And how are you doing that? What are you doing in action?

And do you feel that you’re not doing this?

If something isn’t happening fast enough, that means it’s not happening on your terms. So is there anxiety because what you want doesn’t match reality right now?

But then you’re not living a through-me life. You’re living a by-me life.

So what would be the reframe or mindset be to live more a through-me life?

Yes, and I understand that’s easier said than done. But what are three things you can start doing to give yourself that mindset?

By the way, could that be where the noise is coming from? You trying to trace blueprints instead of being a conduit and just focusing on your craft. Is that a pattern in your life?

What meaning did you attach if things didn’t happen?

So if you’re not “successful”, it means what about you?

What’s your defintion of success?

Then according to your new definition, one may argue that you are already successful.

So it sounds like there’s this inner conflict happening between your old defintions and ways of thinking (the old you) and your new ones (the new you). And I think that’s what’s creating anxiety and making you feel “stuck”. The tug from the old you, your shadow, is telling yourself you’re not “successful” based on your old defintions of success which mean you’re not → valuable.

I wonder if that old tug is also triggering insecurities, giving you the feeling that people don’t like you or that people are judging you and your choices.

What were the consequences or results of the way you used to think and your old definitions?

So would you say that in that state, you felt disconnected with yourself?

Okay, so back to the three things you can do to reconnect with you, your truth, and start pulling from your new defintions?

I just noticed that all those lead more to a through-me life.

That is your homework. To actually practice what you just said. Daily.

Knowing your story, I think growing up in Los Angeles where everyone is chasing shiny things and putting a lot of weight on physical beauty, money, “success”. Where there’s tons of competition and judgment. Since you grew up where everyone comes to “live the dream”, it may have conditioned you to think a certain way and gave you a lot of plastic defintions to judge and compare yourself with. And as long as you have something to say, people aren’t going to like you. People don’t like people with a voice or opinons. Because it stirs up their own framework and defintions, things in their own life.

You said you wanted to be more grateful. What are you grateful for today?

Author of “I Used To Be A Miserable F*CK” and “Single. on Purpose.” IG: theangrytherapist

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