Mar 11, 2017
5 min read
Seventy three things about me
- I can’t sit up straight in a chair for more than a few minutes. I have to slouch or I get terrible anxiety.
- At the end of the day, I’m an introvert.
- I have very little discipline when it comes to food.
- I have trouble reading. I used to be terrified when teachers would call on me to read out loud.
- I have the vocabulary of a fifth grader which is why I make up my own sayings.
- I don’t know Kung Fu. And shame on you for being racist.
- I’m afraid of the ocean. If a fish grazes my leg, I will run on water a la Jesus back to shore. It’s happened. Twice.
- I want children one day.
- At 44, I’m determined to get into the best shape of my life.
- I get nervous before every session I give.
- I’m a hopeless romantic.
- I’m a loner and experience loneliness a lot. I feel like a drifter but also that I was meant to be one. If I wasn’t, I believe I wouldn’t get as much work done. Because I’m the most prolific when I’m wandering on my own schedule and hopping around various coffee shops.
- I play back expired relationships way too much.
- I stalk exes on Instagram.
- I’ve been super sheltered when it comes to relationships because I’ve never been in anything toxic and just now realizing how crazy people are. Me included.
- I talk too much.
- Which is why I love doing podcasts.
- I show myself too soon.
- I enjoy dudes. Not in that way. I love the bro down.
- My Korean name means iron. I don’t mind if you call me Iron Man. My brother’s name means stone. I always knew I was stronger than him.
- I don’t believe in “the one that got away” because I believe relationships expire when they’re meant to.
- I’ve only done drugs three times. Once I almost overdosed on marijuana chewables because I was trying to cure my insomnia. The last time was with two dudes at The Joshua Tree. I laughed for three hours straight. I still want to have sex on X.
- I’m usually some girl’s first “Asian guy”. I’m the gateway Asian.
- I enjoy foreplay more than sex.
- I love fast machines that you can ride.
- I want to direct a movie one day. Or act in one. But I’d have to hold the script in my hand because I’m a horrible memorizer.
- There’s nothing more beautiful than a woman.
- But they are also the most confusing creatures on the planet.
- I am just now, after a seven year screenwriting career, selling a couple scripts, being represented, publishing a book, writing a daily blog for nearly a decade, and getting a book agent, kinda considering myself to be a writer-ish. I’m not being modest. I have a strange dysfunctional weird love hate relationship with writing.
- I actually hate writing but I can’t breathe unless I do it. It’s like a gift and a curse and lots and lots of lonely nights talking to yourself.
- I wear my heart on my sleeve and I like that about myself. But I get hurt a lot.
- I wish I was two inches taller.
- I hate my nose. I used to sit in the bathroom in the dark and squeeze it as a kid because my grandma said I had a strawberry nose, and it would change shape if you did that. The irony is I got my fat nose from her.
- I wear a night guard because I grind my teeth.
- Creating is my favorite thing to do.
- I hate planes.
- I shaved my head once and looked like a monk. Never again.
- I don’t judge people on what they do. I judge them on how they treat others.
- I’m only interested in truth.
- I lost my virginity when I was seventeen to a friend, who was on drill team and wanted me to bring her two gallons of milk because she was baking cookies for her squad, then ended up drilling me.
- My photo above is totally filtered and like 6 years old.
- Do as I say, not as I do.
- I can’t wear button down shirts. Or bow ties. But I would sport overalls if I could pull them off, which I can’t.
- If I don’t drive or ride shotgun, I get car sick almost instantly. But I have no problem doing windmills (breakdancing). I’m weird like that.
- My biggest pet peeve is people who are late and people who don’t communicate. Both drive me crazy.
- I am not hard on myself. On purpose.
- I have a false belief that I’m the almost guy but it’s slowly fading.
- I struggle with compliments yet seek them often.
- I will always get something on the menu if it says “world famous”.
- I could eat sushi every single day.
- I need glasses but I refuse to wear them.
- I don’t like pants.
- Someone recently told me I am a spiritual person and it was like the end of The Sixth Sense, and I actually now believe that I have been living a spiritual life without knowing it.
- Biggest turn on: vulnerability.
- Biggest turn off: no self awareness.
- If I could have dinner with anyone, it would actually be with me. Not because I’m self centered. So I can experience myself from an outside perspective. That would be the most amazing self examination experience.
- I no longer use coconut oil to masturbate.
- I put my penis inside a plum once to see what sex would feel like. Because it’s a lot more accurate than a fucking apple pie and I knew that as a virgin.
- I have zero musical talent and shatter glass when I sing.
- I felt famous once when a server saw “The Angry Therapist” on my business credit card and acted star struck, told me he’s been reading me for years. It thought my friends were playing a joke on me.
- I honestly think surprise parties are mean. I don’t want anyone to throw one for me ever again. It happened once and was the most uncomfortable party I’ve ever been to.
- I’m a late bloomer. That belief is a daily choice with my fingers crossed.
- I can honestly say I am not afraid to die. I’m afraid on how die but not afraid of death itself.
- My greatest fear is not finding the kind of love I desire. A new love I’ve never experienced before that eclipses all other live experiences and wakes up parts of me I never felt before.
- I’m ready for another rebirth.
- I’ve been obsessed with people’s energy.
- I still do not know what my true gifts are.
- I once wrote an ebook titled “68" which my agent is shopping now as “Grow the Eff Up” No joke. Also, I write almost everything from my phone. Without pants.
- I would rather be called interesting than hot.
- That was a total lie.
- The question I ask myself the most is “Does it feel honest to you?”
- I will revisit and rework this list one more time in the future to get to 100 things about me.
- I want to delete almost everything I post.
