Seventy three things about me

  1. I can’t sit up straight in a chair for more than a few minutes. I have to slouch or I get terrible anxiety.
  2. At the end of the day, I’m an introvert.
  3. I have very little discipline when it comes to food.
  4. I have trouble reading. I used to be terrified when teachers would call on me to read out loud.
  5. I have the vocabulary of a fifth grader which is why I make up my own sayings.
  6. I don’t know Kung Fu. And shame on you for being racist.
  7. I’m afraid of the ocean. If a fish grazes my leg, I will run on water a la Jesus back to shore. It’s happened. Twice.
  8. I want children one day.
  9. At 44, I’m determined to get into the best shape of my life.
  10. I get nervous before every session I give.
  11. I’m a hopeless romantic.
  12. I’m a loner and experience loneliness a lot. I feel like a drifter but also that I was meant to be one. If I wasn’t, I believe I wouldn’t get as much work done. Because I’m the most prolific when I’m wandering on my own schedule and hopping around various coffee shops.
  13. I play back expired relationships way too much.
  14. I stalk exes on Instagram.
  15. I’ve been super sheltered when it comes to relationships because I’ve never been in anything toxic and just now realizing how crazy people are. Me included.
  16. I talk too much.
  17. Which is why I love doing podcasts.
  18. I show myself too soon.
  19. I enjoy dudes. Not in that way. I love the bro down.
  20. My Korean name means iron. I don’t mind if you call me Iron Man. My brother’s name means stone. I always knew I was stronger than him.
  21. I don’t believe in “the one that got away” because I believe relationships expire when they’re meant to.
  22. I’ve only done drugs three times. Once I almost overdosed on marijuana chewables because I was trying to cure my insomnia. The last time was with two dudes at The Joshua Tree. I laughed for three hours straight. I still want to have sex on X.
  23. I’m usually some girl’s first “Asian guy”. I’m the gateway Asian.
  24. I enjoy foreplay more than sex.
  25. I love fast machines that you can ride.
  26. I want to direct a movie one day. Or act in one. But I’d have to hold the script in my hand because I’m a horrible memorizer.
  27. There’s nothing more beautiful than a woman.
  28. But they are also the most confusing creatures on the planet.
  29. I am just now, after a seven year screenwriting career, selling a couple scripts, being represented, publishing a book, writing a daily blog for nearly a decade, and getting a book agent, kinda considering myself to be a writer-ish. I’m not being modest. I have a strange dysfunctional weird love hate relationship with writing.
  30. I actually hate writing but I can’t breathe unless I do it. It’s like a gift and a curse and lots and lots of lonely nights talking to yourself.
  31. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I like that about myself. But I get hurt a lot.
  32. I wish I was two inches taller.
  33. I hate my nose. I used to sit in the bathroom in the dark and squeeze it as a kid because my grandma said I had a strawberry nose, and it would change shape if you did that. The irony is I got my fat nose from her.
  34. I wear a night guard because I grind my teeth.
  35. Creating is my favorite thing to do.
  36. I hate planes.
  37. I shaved my head once and looked like a monk. Never again.
  38. I don’t judge people on what they do. I judge them on how they treat others.
  39. I’m only interested in truth.
  40. I lost my virginity when I was seventeen to a friend, who was on drill team and wanted me to bring her two gallons of milk because she was baking cookies for her squad, then ended up drilling me.
  41. My photo above is totally filtered and like 6 years old.
  42. Do as I say, not as I do.
  43. I can’t wear button down shirts. Or bow ties. But I would sport overalls if I could pull them off, which I can’t.
  44. If I don’t drive or ride shotgun, I get car sick almost instantly. But I have no problem doing windmills (breakdancing). I’m weird like that.
  45. My biggest pet peeve is people who are late and people who don’t communicate. Both drive me crazy.
  46. I am not hard on myself. On purpose.
  47. I have a false belief that I’m the almost guy but it’s slowly fading.
  48. I struggle with compliments yet seek them often.
  49. I will always get something on the menu if it says “world famous”.
  50. I could eat sushi every single day.
  51. I need glasses but I refuse to wear them.
  52. I don’t like pants.
  53. Someone recently told me I am a spiritual person and it was like the end of The Sixth Sense, and I actually now believe that I have been living a spiritual life without knowing it.
  54. Biggest turn on: vulnerability.
  55. Biggest turn off: no self awareness.
  56. If I could have dinner with anyone, it would actually be with me. Not because I’m self centered. So I can experience myself from an outside perspective. That would be the most amazing self examination experience.
  57. I no longer use coconut oil to masturbate.
  58. I put my penis inside a plum once to see what sex would feel like. Because it’s a lot more accurate than a fucking apple pie and I knew that as a virgin.
  59. I have zero musical talent and shatter glass when I sing.
  60. I felt famous once when a server saw “The Angry Therapist” on my business credit card and acted star struck, told me he’s been reading me for years. It thought my friends were playing a joke on me.
  61. I honestly think surprise parties are mean. I don’t want anyone to throw one for me ever again. It happened once and was the most uncomfortable party I’ve ever been to.
  62. I’m a late bloomer. That belief is a daily choice with my fingers crossed.
  63. I can honestly say I am not afraid to die. I’m afraid on how die but not afraid of death itself.
  64. My greatest fear is not finding the kind of love I desire. A new love I’ve never experienced before that eclipses all other live experiences and wakes up parts of me I never felt before.
  65. I’m ready for another rebirth.
  66. I’ve been obsessed with people’s energy.
  67. I still do not know what my true gifts are.
  68. I once wrote an ebook titled “68" which my agent is shopping now as “Grow the Eff Up” No joke. Also, I write almost everything from my phone. Without pants.
  69. I would rather be called interesting than hot.
  70. That was a total lie.
  71. The question I ask myself the most is “Does it feel honest to you?”
  72. I will revisit and rework this list one more time in the future to get to 100 things about me.
  73. I want to delete almost everything I post.

Author of “I Used To Be A Miserable F*CK” and “Single. on Purpose.” IG: theangrytherapist