“Men fall for the sweet talk. She have big boobs.” All I could think was my mom doesn’t talk this way. But I wish she would. Riding shotgun was my friend’s mother, a tiny Korean lady in her 60’s explaining the dynamics between men and women as I escorted her to one of my favorite pizza spots in LA, something I promised her two days ago when she arrived unexpectedly at my front door.
Well, it wasn’t completely unexpected. It started with a phone call. She was in town and asked if she could stay in the extra room in the condo aka Heartbreak Hotel. Everyone who has stayed here was transitioning from an expired relationship, including myself. I just never left. It’s hard to when you have nearly 1200 square feet all to yourself and you’re twenty minutes from everything. Anyway, Mrs Kwon, not her real name, owns the Heartbreak Hotel. Her son’s various friends have occupied the space after he and his then wife moved by the beach. I am the last in the rotating bunch of broken hearts and rebirths and feel like the kid that got held back.
My initial feeling was complete resistance. I mean, how would you feel if your landlord wanted to live with you for a few days? And how do you say no? But I have this tattoo on my right arm that reminds me resistance just means there’s a opportunity for growth.
Other than my mom, I’ve never hung out with a sixty something year old Korean lady. Usually, the person in my passenger seat is someone I am romantically interested in. But I gotta say, it was pretty amazing. I think the fact that she is not someone I am use to spending time with is what made it an interesting experience. Well, that and me making a choice to be open to it. She was kind and funny. We ate like we were on vacation. We even went to Home Depot together. We talked about love and life and relationships and I learned a lot. Really. It was refreshing to hear about love without a psychological slant, from a different generation, simplified. She speaks better English than my mother so the communicate flowed well. My stereotypes of older Korean women were broken as well as the whole fear of your landlord thing. I actually made a friend. And a fan. She bought three In This House posters, one for herself and two for her daughters. Real quick, if you’re one of the daughters and you decided to Google the logo on the poster and you’re reading this now, you’re mother is an amazing lady. You are lucky. Hanging out with her made me want to be a better son and make an effort to spend more time with my mom.
It’s amazing what you can learn from other people if you don’t prejudge, drop your resistance, make a choice to be open, and approach each individual, no matter age, race, or gender, with love. It’s amazing what you can get from a collision if you decide to look at people based on their story instead of your fears.
Keep leaning forward,