How to really attract what you want in life

There are two different mindsets we have as we maneuver through the world.

We are either chasing or attracting.

Many believe chasing and attracting are the same thing. Both involve going after opportunities, people, dreams, everything we want and believe we deserve. And on the surface, they may appear similar. But they are very different states. And they produce very different results.

Chasing seems empowering but it’s actually a depowering state. It shoots us down into a lower frequency. Our chasing state is lined with desperation. We tie our worth to what we’re chasing and if we don’t get what we’re going after, we believe we have less worth. So give whatever or whoever we’re chasing the power. By chasing we are losing our sense of self. When ever we lose our stance — sense of self, we are watered down and not living at our potential. And this state doesn’t attract anything. It becomes the opposite. We become a flipped magnet.

Now remember, not chasing doesn’t mean to not be ambitious or go after your dreams. I’m talking about a mindset, an intention, energy, where we pull from.

Attracting is a powerfilled state. You are focusing on improving over wanting. You are not exchanging you who are for what you want. You are not seeking approval and validation. You are not taking. You are giving by being the best version of you. And by being in this state, having this mindset, you are raising your vibrations, living on a higher frequency, and attracting who and what you were meant to attract.

Most of my life I’ve been in a chasing state. I chased shiny things. Cars, money, women. I desperately wanted things that make me feel and look good. I cared what people thought of me. In his state, I attracted fake friends, opportunities that fell through, relationships that expired. And the less I got, the harder I chased. I lost my stance and didn’t allow myself to be happy until I got what I was chasing. And since I wasn’t happy, I wasn’t grateful. I always only saw the glass as half empty. I was negative and discouraged. So of course, nothing good happened.

After my divorce, I decided to stop chasing. I decided to focus inward instead of outward, work on me, my relationship with self, by body, my belief system. I didn’t know it at the time but I was attracting by making myself more attractive. As I started to find my voice, courage, passion, and stopped seeking approval and validation, good things started coming. Maybe the word is not good but meant things, things that I needed to experience to keep building and moving toward my purpose. Money and fancy cars are not what I attracted. But that’s not what I was meant to. I attracted opportunities that grew me as a therapist and laid the ground work for things that would come later, like my start up and life coaching intensive. I was attracting things that would give me tools to build a wellness platform to help others help others and my own methodology that turned into my first book.

I think that’s the greatest misconception about attracting. Attracting doesn’t always mean shiny things like clothes and money because shiny things won’t take you to the next level. Attracting means getting things that line up with your purpose, that position you to head into the direction you were meant to, where you will be the loudest and brightest.

There are steps to this process. Both internal and external. I recently created a step by step guide using Facebook messenger on how to attract instead of chase. You can do the entire guide on your phone.

If you want to stop chasing and start living at your potential, click below to get the step by step guide.

Author of “I Used To Be A Miserable F*CK” and “Single. on Purpose.” IG: theangrytherapist