There is also another option you can’t see yet because you’re in the trenches. I was there as well. Many have been. Start a relationship with yourself. A new one. Because in the marriage, chances are you lost yourself, disconnected with you. You’ve lived on an island and there’s nothing worse than feeling alone when you’re in a relationship. Nothing.
People who stay in relationships with no hope are creating their own prisons. Fear of being alone or as you say losing (security) is not a reason to be in something. It’s also not fair to the other person. That “security” is an illusion. Security doesn’t come from others. It’s found in yourself. It starts with a choice but it is ultimately a journey. Take the green pill and you will go through a rebirth. And it’s fucking hard as fuck and takes time. You can’t depend on others to give you a sense of security or you will alway live in a prison.
Who are you? What do you need to work on to know yourself better, to like yourself, believe you have worth, find a sense of purpose that is greater than you, bring something to the table, connect with you so that you don’t need another. Need not want. We all want and we should. Our partner makes us better and we’re not meant to do life alone. If they make us worse, there’s something wrong.
But for now, what do you need to provide your own security, both internally as well as externally (body, self image, job, career, your own place). When you get there, you will find another who is also “secure” and you can taste what a healthy fulfilling relationship looks and feels like. Then that relationship will sharpen both, put you guys on another level, and you’ll learn that love is not about putting people in cages.
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