This is a great question I believe many can relate to. I’ve been in a “Harry and Sally” situation once as well, a relationship that started off as a great valuable friendship. Yes, the good thing about that is you have a solid foundation to build on. And one would think, no surprises = safe.

But what many don’t realize is that even though you know each other well, the dynamic of the relationship becomes different. Great friends don’t always equal great lovers. So when the relationship dynamic changes, the energy changes and it becomes a different animal. The way people act as friends are not usually how they are as lovers. Anyway, back to your question. My question to you is how long has it been since she hasn’t contacted you back. A week or a summer? It seems like it hasn’t been that long. So that’s a good thing. I would give her what she asked for, “time to think about it”.

It seems like she’s weighing the risk, losing a good friend at the chance at love. But also she just recently ended something. She may not want to jump into someone so fast. As a matter of fact, she shouldn’t. Also know that you can’t go back to being friends once the cat is out of the bag and it is. Shit, that’s not helpful. Sorry. Okay, let’s drive this home.

I’ve leaned that yes there is a courting process. But at the end of the day, if someone wants to be with you, you will know. Period. There’s no need to stand outside her bedroom window with a boombox over your head. That’s not going to change her mind. She knows you want more. You’ve made it clear. You can only court for so long. It’s like trying to feed a bird. You hold the food in your hand. The bird comes. You chase the bird. It flies away. Be patience. What’s meant it meant. And also, remember if you have to convince someone to be with you, what do you think that would look like? I’ll tell you, lopsided.

  • Angry

Author of “I Used To Be A Miserable F*CK” and “Single. on Purpose.” IG: theangrytherapist