If there was an emotional tool fairy and she told me I can go back in time and give one emotional tool to anyone I wish, I would give my dad the ability to have a good attitude, exude positive energy. When I was growing up and things were shitty, when we were in debt and the family business was not doing well, my dad never kept his chin up, smiled, and remind us that going through this will only make us stronger and that he was proud of us. Instead, he would worry, panic, and put his insecurities and self doubt on us. He would act like the sky was falling and run around sucking all the energy out of us. He would act like a child. He would make it about him. He would react instead of respond, completely unaware of the damage he was causing his family.

Today, I wonder what I would be like if my dad possessed that tool, knew the value in it, and passed it on to me, if he modeled resilience and positivity. I don’t think I would have been so angry in my 20’s. I think I would have been in healthier relationships. I think I would have been more successful. I think I would have been happier.

Okay, enough of the what ifs. The question is what now? The answer is this is now a non-negotiable for me. No matter how bad things get, I choose to have a good attitude, practice gratitude, and appreciate everything I have. I accept and deal with, knowing that it will make me stronger instead of whine, pout, and bring others down with me. But I struggle with this. It’s not easy. It’s ingrained. No one taught me what changing your attitude / energy looks like. Therefore, I do slip at times. The last few weeks have been that way. But I will not drown in self pity as my father did and I will not put my stress, anxiety, and unhappiness on others. Finally, and this is the part of the non-negotiable that most have difficulty with, I will not surround myself with people that do not possess this tool.

Energy is everything. It really is. And it starts with a choice. How many people do you know that walk with a black cloud over their heads and when you spend time with them, you end up leaving completely exhausted? If you surround yourself with people like that, what do you think your life will look like? What if you were living with someone like that? Maybe you are.

How many people do you know that leave you feeling light, invigorated, and invincible? People that can go into a room and lift it. Seek those people, in your friendships but especially intimate relationships. When shit hits the fan in your life, and you know that it will, a nice ass, beautiful smile, or money will not fix it. Don’t compromise positive energy. It’s gold.

- Angry

Author of “I Used To Be A Miserable F*CK” and “Single. on Purpose.” IG: theangrytherapist

Author of “I Used To Be A Miserable F*CK” and “Single. on Purpose.” IG: theangrytherapist

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