#67. Do WANT to do the dishes

Okay, men so this isn’t about doing the dishes. You’re welcome.

There’s a movie called The Break Up with Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn. They’re a couple going through a break up and there’s a scene where they get into a huge fight and Jennifer explodes, “I don’t want you to do the dishes, I want you to WANT to do the dishes!” It summed up her complaint of the relationship and became a famous line because so many could relate.

Sometimes we just do things because we’re supposed to or because someone wants us to. And when this action becomes routine, it turns us invisible. It’s like we died inside. We become a zombie. You’re no longer doing life with someone, you’re doing life around someone. And for the other person, whether it’s your girlfriend, best friend, or company partner, it makes them feel alone. Like you checked out. Like you’re not there anymore.

Yes, there are things in life we have to do that we don’t want to. Like pay bills. Wash the dog. And of course, do the dishes. But when we stop pulling from desire and start pulling from fear. Because we don’t want to rock the boat, because we would rather just do it than get into another fight, because we don’t want to “deal with it”. We are now running. Both away from the other person but also ourselves. And that’s the important piece and main problem. Disconnecting with you. When you disconnect with you, you disconnect with her / others. You disconnect with the world.

So do things because you want to. Not because you have to. Do things because they come from your truth. Not your fears. And if it’s going to bring resistance, drama, push back, be a fucking man and deal with it. Handle it. Don’t sacrifice your truth because you’re afraid of conflict. Life is full of conflict and that will never be be. It’s your ability to resolve it that will make you a better man.

  • Angry

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Author of “I Used To Be A Miserable F*CK” and “Single. on Purpose.” IG: theangrytherapist