There are two types of men. Men who look you in the eye and shake your hand firmly and men who look down at their shoes and hand you a dead fish. The first is the type of man who makes decisions. He is confident. He knows who he is. You can trust him. He is honorable. The second is filled with ambivalence. He’s indecisive and unsure of himself. He is slippery and avoidant. He doesn’t handle confrontation well. He cuts corners when possible, doesn’t know where to go on dates, or what to order on the menu, is selfish in bed and runs funny. All this from a handshake? Yes. A man’s handshake says everything about him.
Our handshake reflects our perception of self. A weak grip and scrambling eyes stem from ambivalence and insecurity. We believe we are not enough, less than. This false belief causes us to look for short cuts and avoid confrontations. It’s a way of hiding. We are afraid. On the other hand, a firm handshake stems from certainty, a belief that we are enough. A strong grip with eye contact and a confident smile says I am valuable, I am worthy, and I am here. It’s a pleasure to meet you.
The next time you shake someone’s hand, grip it with authority. Remind yourself what the behavior means, the message it sends to the other person but more importantly to yourself. You matter. You’re alive. You affect others. This is part of growing up, believing that you are more than a cardboard cut out and a firm handshake says that louder than words. Boys exist. Men punctuate. Even if you doubt yourself, make sure your handshake doesn’t say that. By changing behavior, beliefs can also change. See it as an opportunity for growth. Introduce yourself to the world.
Use shaking someone’s hand as an exercise to build self-confidence and be the kind of person you strive to be.
Boys just give their hand.
Men give firm handshakes.