21 key ingredients of a happy life

The Angry Therapist
3 min readOct 19, 2015

Sometimes growth is more about the questions we ask ourselves rather than searching for answers. Answers can keep us locked and stuck. But questions, like a rudder on a boat, can guide us or send us off into the right direction.

Here are 21 aspects of life you should care about, and the questions about them you need to ask yourself to spur personal growth.

1. How you wake up.

What wakes you up in the morning? An alarm clock blasting the sounds of obligation and dread, or the excitement of everything you will work on that day?

2. Daily state.

Do you spend most of your days feelings like you’re in a state of tolerable misery or in a state of wonder with peaks of joy?

3. Nourishment.

Are most of your meals fast and processed or organic and locally growth? And when you eat, is food scarfed down practically whole while burying yourself in social media or work or a time to practice mindfulness and be present with others?

4. Home.

Is your home complete chaos and feels like a prison or a safe haven where you can rest, reboot, and relax?

5. Fitness.

You don’t remember the last time you broke a sweat? Or you’re always challenging yourself to pursue various activities. Fitness is a lifestyle not just a compartmentalized workout.

6. Dreams and passions.

Do you believe and invest in your dreams or have 500 reasons why it’s not possible?

7. Purpose.

When you think of purpose, do you feel clueless and confused or great pride to be living it?

8. Shame.

Do you burn yourself at the stake mentally often or do you not believe in mistakes and see how everything you’ve done has led you to the next step in your life?

9. Lenses.

Do you see the world (includes, people, events, and situations) with judgement? Or wonder?

10. Anger and resentment.

Yes and yes? Or do you forgive instead of hold grudges because you know how it can turn you ugly and powerless.

11. Trauma.

Things have happened to you that have caused you to become bitter, jaded, and cause you to numb and shut down? Or what was painful at the time turned out to be a key part in your growth, story, and being a catalyst to others?

12. Past.

Is your past is heavy, painful, and a source of shame? Or is it something you have made peace with and you’re open about, which in turn inspires others to share?

13. Your values.

Do you define yourself by what you do, the things you have, and who you surround yourself with? Or by your heart, values and character?

14. Companionship.

Do you surround yourself with friends who are useless and inferior? Or teach you things and inspire you to new heights?

15. Intimate relationships.

Are your intimate relationships always a problem as they cause more pain than happiness? Or you love hard, without fear, but with healthy boundaries.

16. Your relationship with money.

Is money is a source of anxiety and suffering? Or is it something you earn by doing things that you believe in and make you feel alive and valuable?

17. Sex.

When you think about your sexual experiences, do you feel that you know you’re supposed to like it but you secretly don’t get what all the fuss is about? Or there. Are. No. Words.

18. Joy.

Do you have the ability to produce joy daily or is joy contingent on a lot of what ifs and things that are external?

19. Emotion management.

Does your emotions control you completely and your life gets derailed because of them? Or are your emotions something you’re always aware of and you’ve become pretty good at managing them, expressing yourself, and not allowing them to own you?

20. Comfort zones.

Is your comfort zone very small and you barely move around so you don’t step outside of it? Or do you resist nothing?

21. Love.

Is love a four letter word to you? Or do you have a clear picture of what you want love to look like that is uniquely suited to your needs, and take active steps to create it.

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The Angry Therapist

Author of “I Used To Be A Miserable F*CK” and “Single. on Purpose.” IG: theangrytherapist